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Volunteered
Possible replacement for part of "Weird", the rest of the salient points are being folded into other pieces in the arc Meta Timing: the day after "Twenty Questions", same day as "Job", 20 Apr 2025 Setting: Logan's flat Text v2 Logan, on the couch with a book, rubs the top of his shoulder. Snicket stretches, oozes into a better spot around Logan's neck. "Thanks, fuzzy," murmurs Logan. Snicket flicks his tail into Logan's nose. Logan swats. Snicket /''merp''s. "Damn cat." Snicket purrs smugly. A knock at the door. Logan huffs, marks his place with his glasses, glides to his feet— Snicket hooks his claws through Logan's shirt, barely brushing his skin. —crosses the flat, undoes the locks, opens the door. Blinks. A smallish Asian person, hair framing their face dyed sakura pink, with a much smaller person in a sling against their chest greets, "'ey, Buttercup." "Blossom?" Logan blinks some more. "You have a /'kid'?" "Nah, I just stole this one on the walk here." Blossom quirks an eyebrow. "You have a /'cat'?" "Nah, this's just a furry hot water bottle." Snicket swishes his tail into Logan's eye. Logan swats. Blossom chuckles. "I thought you /'hated' cats—since that Bay Area thing?" "I got over it." Tilts his head, 'come in'. "Couch's up ahead on the right." The much smaller person coos. Snicket lifts his head, attends the sound. Blossom strolls inside, kicks off her shoes. Snicket leaps from Logan's shoulders to the entryway table to the floor, saunters to the living room at Blossom's heels. Logan cocks his head, follows. Blossom perches on the couch. Snicket jumps up beside her, noses at the sling with avid interest. Logan folds himself to the floor next to the coffee table, clears his throat. "So ... kid?" Deep breath. "That Suit wasn't kidding about a breeding program." Logan wrinkles his nose. "You—" "/'They' 'volunteered' me. Those IVs weren't about treating cancer; they were for making Button." Smooches the smaller person. Snicket slinks into Blossom's lap pokes his head into the sling, sniffs Button's face. Smaller person giggles. "'Button'?" Blossom points her chin toward the smaller person. "Him. The baby." Grins. "Don't tell me the nickname's throwing you off, Buttercup. /'You' of all people should be used to them by now—and aren't Jack's kids 'Book' and 'Baby'?" Logan snorts. "There's Jupiter now, too." "He named his kid 'Jupiter Jones'." "Technically, /'Charlie' named the kid 'Jupiter /'Darling'-Jones', but he dreamed about doing it for years." "He's gotta be the biggest nerd on the planet." "Glad someone else thinks so." Snicket looks from Button to Logan, flicks his tail, sniffs Button again. "Speaking of names, I have a new one." "I just got used to the /'last' one." Blossom nudges his knee. "Suck it up, Buttercup. I'm Wei Tang Lan now." Grins. "Means 'orchid'." >it rhymes XD; I think this is the third one of these after 'shut up' and 'beat you up'. XD< "You /'had' to pick a flower name." "Makes it easier to remember." Logan rolls his eyes. Snicket turns away— Button makes a sad sound. —hops from the couch to the coffee table, drapes himself around Logan's shoulders. Blossom glances down, strokes Button's nose. "The peanut is officially Wei Tang Yun, not that anyone calls him that." Logan raises an eyebrow. "The Narrator's wife and kid?" "Cousins, like, eighteen-times-removed, but we're officially Tangs and /'no' /'one' messes with Tangs, especially in The Narrator's territory." "Cool," Logan nods—frowns. "But if you're safe there, why are you here in Corps country?" She rolls a lock of hair between her fingers, eyes sliding off Logan and onto something over his shoulder. "I wanted Button to meet you." Flips her hair into place. "We've already visited my parents. And Bubbles—" "Can't believe she still works for them." "You know Bubbles: she gets along with everyone." Logan concedes. Button squirms. "Getting tired of being cooped up, there, sweetie?" Blossom eases Button out of the sling and onto her lap. "Wanna meet Logan?" Button makes grabby hands and bounces, staring at Logan with squinched, laughing brown eyes. Blossom sets his tiny feet on the rug. Logan opens his arms. Blossom helps Button toddle—tiny hands tucked in adult ones held above fluffy black hair—the four itty steps to Logan. Button flops into his lap. "He's /'almost' got this walking thing down." Logan grunts, hoists Button more or less upright. Snicket stretches, flows farther onto Logan's front, closer to Button's face. Button looks at Snicket. Snicket looks at Button. Button coos, "Maau." Copper eyes squint. "Since when do you speak Chinese?" "Since never," replies Logan. "I speak bean." Blossom snorts. "His name's Snicket—" "Kit!" —says Logan. "He likes you." Button squeals, reaches for Snicket with a pudgy hand. Snicket streeetches closer. Button thumps him between the ears. Snicket /''merrow''s plaintively. Button's lip wibbles. "He likes it better when you pet him softly," Logan says gently. "Like this." He demonstrates, first on Snicket— Snicket closes his eyes and purrs. —then Button. Button giggles, reaches again for Snicket, and rubs his head mechanically. Snicket purrs encouragingly. "You're a natural," glows Blossom. "Plenty of practice with Jack's kids and his neighbours'." Preens. "'m a fast learner." Button stops petting Snicket, takes hold of one of his paws— Snicket rumbles. —lets go, stares with worried wide eyes. Logan smooths Button's hair. "'s'okay, kiddo. He doesn't like anyone touching his toes." Presses his forehead to Button's crown. "I should've warned you." Button pats Logan's chin, smiles. Logan smiles back. Snicket oozes even closer to Button, daintily sets the offended paw on his head. "See? You're cool again." Button makes a happy noise. "/'Totally' a natural." Blossom leans back, winds her hair around a finger. "Ever want one of your own?" "My lifestyle's never been kid-friendly." Looks up, grimaces. "And there's the whole ace thing." "You don't need to have sex to have a kid. This's the twenty-first century." Logan's colour drains away. "Is that ...?" Button coos, nestles against Logan's chest. Logan absently nuzzles his hair. "Yea, fertility drugs, embryo transfer, and a /'lot' of sedatives—" He must be Derek-grey by now. "—no idea I was pregnant until The Narrator's people checked me over." Logan swallows, murmurs, not looking up, "They did the same thing to Jack's wife. The sedatives, some of the drugs. Not the—" Swallows. "Still trying to figure out if they messed with the bean somehow, too, 'cause the neighbours' two youngest? They act weird." Snicket snuggles closer to Logan's neck, purrs. Blossom shifts, croaks, "Wha— How?" "Stare at things. Stare at nothing. React together like Jack and I did when we Drifted. Seeing the one-year-old act like that's fucking unnerving." Blossom breathes out some tension. "Button's not doing anything like that. Yet." Logan exhales, wiggles Button's ears. "Well, he wasn't grown in a PPDC city like they were, ay?" >If he doesn't look at Blossom he can pretend this conversation isn't really happening.; EXCELLENT point< "Thank /'god'. The Narrator made sure of that." Preens. "Us being in Sydney's the closest they've ever gotten to Button." Grins, all teeth. "And they'll only touch him over my dead body." "Never /'mind' what your 'cousin' will do to them." "No kidding." Blossom chuckles. "How's the hand, by the way?" Logan scowls. Button yawns. Snicket mimics. Blossom snorks. "Why intro—" Logan stifles a yawn. "—introduce Button to me?" A deep breath. "I want him to know you." Logan's blood freezes. Button emits a snore. Snicket aims an ear at the sound. Blossom sighs. "Noisy sleeper. Doctor says it's nothing to worry about." Logan forces himself to take a deep breath, chuckles weakly. "Takes after Mum, ay?" "The poor thing was doomed." Puts on a scowl. "And if you weren't holding my baby, I'd punch you for that." Button snores on. Logan grins. "I could get used to having a human shield." "You're hopeless," sighs Blossom. "I'm hopeless and I have your baby." "Maybe not /'totally' hopeless. This place's a step up from the last flat of yours I visited." Ducks his head, mumbles into Button's hair, "Nanny picked it out." Blossom blinks. "Your Gramma pays your rent." "/'She' picked it out. /'I' pay rent," Logan sniffs. "Couldn't really go house hunting, what with the psych ward and the court martial." Blossom cringes. Logan smiles up at her. "I keep it as a reward to myself for continued good behaviour." Blossom cocks her head. "I'm curious what you think is 'good behaviour'." "/'I'm' a /'respectable' member of the community now." scoffs. Button snuffles. Logan adopts his stuffiest tone. "I enjoy such diversions as [perusing a good book, partaking in video games, generously helping my brother and sister-in-law with their offspring, lengthy promenades about town, bathing in the glory of nature at the park, and the odd bit of counter-surveillance for family. In other words, I'm a typical man of leisure. She snorks. "One of those things is not like the others." "Someone likes hiding bugs in my family's houses." Puffs up. "I like killing them." glint in his eye. "Or sending them off to be tortured." Button shifts, makes a grumpy sound. Logan softens his posture. Blossom flicks her eyes around the flat. "Are we—" "Cleaned this morning. Before you ask, Weegie taught me and keeps me current. It's cool." Blossom raises her eyebrows. "Weegie. /'The' Weegie." Blinks. "You got /'Weegie' to work with you." "Yup." "I know she's the best," says Blossom doubtfully, "but I thought she hated you." Logan smirks. "Not while I can give her easy access to their field tech." "Ah. Clever boy." "'m not just dumb muscle, ay?" Blossom pats his head— Logan glowers. —"Of course you're not, Buttercup." He huffs. A scrap of melody from Blossom's pocket. She sighs. "That's my minder tugging my leash. Apparently we're needed elsewhere." Stands. Logan eases to his feet, shifts Button against his shoulder. Snicket oozes off, pat-pats to the kitchen. Button blinks awake, yawns. "C'mere, Button, time to go." Blossom gathers— "No," declares Button, pressing more tightly against Logan and grabbing a handful of his shirt. Logan swallows, serves up a wobbly smile. "'s'okay, bean. You'll see me again later." Button studies his face. Logan presses his forehead to Button's. Button coos, relaxes his grip. Blossom, eyes shiny, slides Button into her arms, tucks him into the sling. Button huffs, squirms a moment, settles. Logan ducks his head. "This's my mobile number where we're staying, if you want to get a hold of us." Blossom presses a scrap of paper into Logan's hand. "This—" Passes over a sealed envelope. "—is from The Narrator." Logan quirks an eyebrow. Blossom shrugs, slips her feet into her shoes. Logan tucks the papers in a pocket. "Thanks," says Blossom. "For what?" "For letting us visit—" "Why'd I—" "—and for being kind to us both." Logan rubs his neck, sucks a deep breath. "'s'not his fault." Lifts his eyes a fraction. "Or yours." Blossom wipes an eye. "Thanks for that, Logan. Means a lot." Logan nods, swallows, undoes the locks and opens the door. Blossom steps through, smiles over her shoulder, sets off down the hall. Logan swings the door closed, leans on its back, lets his head /''thunk'' against it, and takes a deep, shuddery breath. Snicket twines around his legs, purring so hard Logan can feel it. He looks down. "You need more crunchies, ay?" "/''Maau''." "'course you do." Logan {smiles and} pushes off for the kitchen. . Text v1 Logan, on the couch with a book, rubs the top of his shoulder. Snicket stretches, oozes into a better spot around Logan's neck. "Thanks, fuzzy," murmurs Logan. Snicket flicks his tail into Logan's nose. Logan swats. Snicket merps. "Damn cat." Snicket purrs smugly. A knock at the door. Logan huffs, marks his place with his glasses, glides to his feet— Snicket hooks his claws through Logan's shirt, barely brushing his skin. —crosses the flat, undoes the locks, opens the door. Blinks. A smallish Asian person, bangs dyed sakura flower pink, with a much smaller person in a sling against their chest greets, "'ey, Buttercup." "Blossom?" Logan blinks some more. "You have a /'kid'?" "Nah, I just stole this one on the walk here." Blossom quirks an eyebrow. "You have a /'cat'?" "Nah, this's just a furry hot water bottle." Snicket swishes his tail into Logan's eye. Logan swats. Blossom chuckles. "I thought you /'hated' cats—since that Bay Area thing?" Shrugs. "I got over it." Tilts his head. "Couch's up ahead on the right." The much smaller person coos. Snicket lifts his head, attends the sound. Blossom strolls inside, kicks off her shoes. Snicket leaps from Logan's shoulders to the entryway table to the floor, saunters to the living room at Blossom's heels. Logan cocks his head, follows. Blossom perches on the couch. Snicket jumps up beside her, noses at the sling with avid interest. Logan folds himself to the floor next to the coffee table, clears his throat. "So ... kid?" Deep breath. "That Suit wasn't kidding about a breeding program." Logan shudders. "You—" "They /'volunteered' me. Those IVs weren't about treating cancer; they were for making Button." Smooches the smaller person. Quiet: "How ...?" "Hormones, artificial sperm, and a /'lot' of sedatives—" Logan pales. Snicket slinks into Blossom's lap, pokes his head into the sling, sniffs Button's face. "—I had no idea I was pregnant until The Narrator had me checked over in China." Smaller person giggles. Logan swallows. Quieter: "Why'd you—?" Waves vaguely. Blossom kisses Button's hair. "Lots of reasons, but mostly because I want to be a mum and I knew we'd be safe." Snicket looks from Button to Logan, flicks his tail, sniffs Button again. Logan shakes his head clear, frowns. "But if you're safe there, why are you here?" Blossom twirls her hair around a finger. Snicket turns away— Button makes a sad sound. —hops from the couch to the coffee table, drapes himself around Logan's shoulders. Blossom glances down, strokes Button's nose. "I wanted Button to meet you." Logan shifts. Button yawns. Snicket mimics. "Why—" Logan stifles a yawn. "—me?" Blossom takes a deep breath, whispers, "I don't want him growing up like I did." "What does—" Button emits a tiny snore. Snicket aims an ear at the sound. "Noisy sleeper," explains Blossom with a sigh. "Doctor says it's nothing to worry about." Button snores on. "Takes after Mum, ay?" "Partly." Logan raises an eyebrow. Deep, deep breath. "I'm here because I don't want Button growing up without knowing his dad." Logan blinks; his head roars with static. Snicket snuggles closer to Logan's neck, purrs. Blossom sounds very far away. "The Narrator ran DNA tests and got hold of some of their records." Pause. "They used your cells." Logan floats to his feet— In a rush, "I know you didn't have anything to do with it and I don't expect—" Snicket leaps to the coffee table, to the couch, to Blossom's lap. "—you to do anything for us, I just—" —floats to the washroom, shuts and locks the door behind, rides it back to the floor, tucks his knees to his chest, clasps his hands on the back of his neck. Four minutes and a few interminable seconds pass. ""Logan?"" wavers Blossom. He drops his head to his knees. ""We're going to leave. There's a note with where we're staying and our mobile number on your table if you want to find us."" Forces himself to breathe. Door opens. Door closes. Keeps breathing. 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